Still no word on if my customer is going to renew thier service contract. Even if they do, I am beginning to wonder just how "secure" my job is.
I went to my mom's house today to pick some air conditioners and food from her freezer. I had to park some items there because our freezer needed to be defrosted. The air conditioners were just being stored there for the winter. We have two sick children here today - one or both of them may have the flu. If that is the case, it is pretty mild, I think.
While drive out to my mom's house, I was listening to the local Christian radio station. The preacher was talking about accepting God's call in our lives, and the life of Abraham. He was talking about how sometimes God calls us to move away from all that we know and are comfortable with to serve Him....
It is a scary thought. Some people enjoy making new starts in their lives in new places with new sites and sounds and people... I am not one of those people. I have been described as not handling change well. There might be some truth to that. I think it is more of a case that I need to have a foundation to work from, and my foundation is my family and home and community. As long as these things are intact, I can handle the world....
I feel more out of control of my life than ever. I pray daily to place my life in God's hands and ask Him to guide me in what I do and where I go... but how much of that is really true? I am a weak person. The thought of having to move out of my home and community terrifies me. What if we moved into a place where the church was not tight like it is here? What if we moved to an area where there was no volunteer fire department? I am not strong, I don't know if I could do it.
I pray and pray for help in surrendering to God's will. Sometimes, I feel like I can do it. Most of the time, I don't.
My thoughts are not very focused tonight. I am going to close this early.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
How can we make things better?
I am one of those classic Martians - I need to fix things. If you look at almost everything I do, it involves fixing things in some ways.
I think everyone will agree that there is something broken in the world.
It is tough to know if there is something new that is broken, or that we have just become aware of how bad things have always been. We have all compared things to "the good old days", but if we really look at the times before ours, things were not always so good. So are things really worse now than they have been in the past?
I think they are, and here is my reasoning why... I have a theory, a feeling, that despite what the pundits in the media tell us, that a persons decisions and actions can generally be predicted by their stand on a single issue: abortion. I am going to further propose that, in very simple terms, supporting abortion in any way is bad and renders most of that persons decisions bad, and that a person who opposes abortion in any way generally makes good decisions. I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this position, but hear me out, and let's talk about it.
If you look at most of the problems in the world today, they can be attributed to greed. Greed is putting yourself first and formost and not sacrificing for anything. Abortion is fundamentally an act of selfishness, the ultimate selfishness in my opinion. You and another person have taken an action that resulted in the creation of another life. Rather than accept responsibility for that creation, a decision is made to end it.
A person who supports abortion at some level, conscious or not, believes that some lives have more value than others; they believe this to the extent some lives may be ended for the convenience of another. If you can believe that about a human being, a child conceived, what does that say about the decisions you make in other aspects of your life? If you can take a life, why not take more money than you need, or take a chance with someone else s money, or take out a loan that you cannot afford because you can always declare bankruptcy? You are worth it, aren't you?
Pope John Paul II had a concept he called the "Law of the Gift". As I understand it, this is a fundamental call to service to another that is in the heart of every person who believes in and accepts God into their lives. Some people today seem to not be driven by this fundamental law. Some people deny the existence of God, His influence in their lives, and this is demonstrated in a public way by their position on abortion.
Like all things, this is not an absolute. A very wise English teacher and friend told me once never to assume, and never to say always... Thank you, Mrs. C.
So how can we fix this problem? How do we bring the Law of the Gift back into the hearts of all people? How do we restore a radical call to service, to God and to your fellow man, in the hearts of people? I wish I knew...
Just think how the world would be different. The Bill Gates of the world would be known for their creations instead of the billions of dollars they amassed. Investors would invest based on the true value of a company instead of taking gambles and pumping a worthless stock to make a quick dollar. Normal people would make decisions on how they spend their resources based on what they can afford instead of how much credit they can get.
We are back to the question of how we change the heart of the world.
I think this generation is lost. Most likely, our childrens generation is for the most part lost as well. I think all we can do - other than pray, constantly pray - is to teach our children that they are their brothers keeper. We do have a responsibility to our fellow person. We do have to accept responsibility for all of our actions, good and bad. And maybe someday, our grandchildren or great grandchildren will live in a different world.
Like the old Crosby Stills Nash and Young song - "Teach your children well". Pray unendingly. And never lose faith.
I think everyone will agree that there is something broken in the world.
It is tough to know if there is something new that is broken, or that we have just become aware of how bad things have always been. We have all compared things to "the good old days", but if we really look at the times before ours, things were not always so good. So are things really worse now than they have been in the past?
I think they are, and here is my reasoning why... I have a theory, a feeling, that despite what the pundits in the media tell us, that a persons decisions and actions can generally be predicted by their stand on a single issue: abortion. I am going to further propose that, in very simple terms, supporting abortion in any way is bad and renders most of that persons decisions bad, and that a person who opposes abortion in any way generally makes good decisions. I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this position, but hear me out, and let's talk about it.
If you look at most of the problems in the world today, they can be attributed to greed. Greed is putting yourself first and formost and not sacrificing for anything. Abortion is fundamentally an act of selfishness, the ultimate selfishness in my opinion. You and another person have taken an action that resulted in the creation of another life. Rather than accept responsibility for that creation, a decision is made to end it.
A person who supports abortion at some level, conscious or not, believes that some lives have more value than others; they believe this to the extent some lives may be ended for the convenience of another. If you can believe that about a human being, a child conceived, what does that say about the decisions you make in other aspects of your life? If you can take a life, why not take more money than you need, or take a chance with someone else s money, or take out a loan that you cannot afford because you can always declare bankruptcy? You are worth it, aren't you?
Pope John Paul II had a concept he called the "Law of the Gift". As I understand it, this is a fundamental call to service to another that is in the heart of every person who believes in and accepts God into their lives. Some people today seem to not be driven by this fundamental law. Some people deny the existence of God, His influence in their lives, and this is demonstrated in a public way by their position on abortion.
Like all things, this is not an absolute. A very wise English teacher and friend told me once never to assume, and never to say always... Thank you, Mrs. C.
So how can we fix this problem? How do we bring the Law of the Gift back into the hearts of all people? How do we restore a radical call to service, to God and to your fellow man, in the hearts of people? I wish I knew...
Just think how the world would be different. The Bill Gates of the world would be known for their creations instead of the billions of dollars they amassed. Investors would invest based on the true value of a company instead of taking gambles and pumping a worthless stock to make a quick dollar. Normal people would make decisions on how they spend their resources based on what they can afford instead of how much credit they can get.
We are back to the question of how we change the heart of the world.
I think this generation is lost. Most likely, our childrens generation is for the most part lost as well. I think all we can do - other than pray, constantly pray - is to teach our children that they are their brothers keeper. We do have a responsibility to our fellow person. We do have to accept responsibility for all of our actions, good and bad. And maybe someday, our grandchildren or great grandchildren will live in a different world.
Like the old Crosby Stills Nash and Young song - "Teach your children well". Pray unendingly. And never lose faith.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
What a day....
Some days are like rollercoasters - and some days are like being the bug squashed by the roller coasters windshield.
Today went fairly well to a point. I figured out how to wipe my new smartphone and re-program the email information from scratch. It is just about as close as I want it to be as I can get. So that was a small success. I also got some paperwork done, which is always good, and Mary Anne got the paperwork she needs for an "enhanced drivers license" so that we can visit Canada later on this summer. So that was good, too.
What was really good was that I attended two awards ceremonies for three of my children today! I have amazing kids, let there be no doubt.
We also had training at the fire station. It was disorganized and I ended up running things. We have a young kid going through firefighter one and two boot camp this summer - brave kid! - so we ran through some things he will need when he starts.
My wonderful wife also had a cake making class with my eldest daughter and mom tonight - holy cow, she is getting really good! My sweet Mary Anne does not give herself enough credit....
And then I got a phone call from my companies finance person in San Jose. One of our customers who was supposed to renew their service contract has not issued a PO yet, and the contract is due July 1. If they go away, I will be servicing one customer in Wisconsin. When I started this job, I was responsible for six machines for a short period of time - then it stabilized down to five. Then last year it went down to four. And then two. And now maybe one.
Who knows where it goes from here. To my favor, I am the best service engineer in the US, and one of the best in the company. I am the only one who has generated new business for the company. I am well like by my customers, and I have a reputation as a troubleshooter. So you would think my job is safe.
If there is one thing the years have taught me, it is that no one is safe.
This entry today was supposed to be thoughts on how we as a country have gotten to where we are... maybe in a way, it still is. How did we get this way? How did things get so out of control, the house of cards get so high that it took everyone down when it came crashing down? The media and the government would have us believe that it was a few people in the finance industry that took risks and caused this all to happen...
The truth is, we are all to blame.
The answer to all these problems is greed. It ranges from the person who finances that vacation or even entertainment center that they can't afford to the executive that places a billion dollar bet on how the economy will blow. Some how, we as a nation - maybe as a world - have traded personal responsibility and service to our fellow man for the myth that everyone can retire at 62 as a millionaire. Instead of sticking together as a family and as a community, we try to do everything by ourselves and expect the government to bail us out when everything comes crashing down. What happens when the government comes crashing down, too?
I am as guilty as everyone else. I have seven wonderful children, and an incredible wife. We are blessed in that I make enough for us to live on my income alone, and Mary Anne can stay home with the children. I am further blessed in that I can work out of my home when I am not traveling to a customer site. When everything goes downhill, though, I will do what ever I have to to provide for my family. I guess that makes me a hypocrite of some sort.
I am sorry for being pretty morose tonight. I am scard for the future. I thought the time for being scared like this was over. I took a chance and allowed myself to relax a little and become comfortable. And once again, it looks like the world is going to come crashing down. May God have mercy on us all.
Today went fairly well to a point. I figured out how to wipe my new smartphone and re-program the email information from scratch. It is just about as close as I want it to be as I can get. So that was a small success. I also got some paperwork done, which is always good, and Mary Anne got the paperwork she needs for an "enhanced drivers license" so that we can visit Canada later on this summer. So that was good, too.
What was really good was that I attended two awards ceremonies for three of my children today! I have amazing kids, let there be no doubt.
We also had training at the fire station. It was disorganized and I ended up running things. We have a young kid going through firefighter one and two boot camp this summer - brave kid! - so we ran through some things he will need when he starts.
My wonderful wife also had a cake making class with my eldest daughter and mom tonight - holy cow, she is getting really good! My sweet Mary Anne does not give herself enough credit....
And then I got a phone call from my companies finance person in San Jose. One of our customers who was supposed to renew their service contract has not issued a PO yet, and the contract is due July 1. If they go away, I will be servicing one customer in Wisconsin. When I started this job, I was responsible for six machines for a short period of time - then it stabilized down to five. Then last year it went down to four. And then two. And now maybe one.
Who knows where it goes from here. To my favor, I am the best service engineer in the US, and one of the best in the company. I am the only one who has generated new business for the company. I am well like by my customers, and I have a reputation as a troubleshooter. So you would think my job is safe.
If there is one thing the years have taught me, it is that no one is safe.
This entry today was supposed to be thoughts on how we as a country have gotten to where we are... maybe in a way, it still is. How did we get this way? How did things get so out of control, the house of cards get so high that it took everyone down when it came crashing down? The media and the government would have us believe that it was a few people in the finance industry that took risks and caused this all to happen...
The truth is, we are all to blame.
The answer to all these problems is greed. It ranges from the person who finances that vacation or even entertainment center that they can't afford to the executive that places a billion dollar bet on how the economy will blow. Some how, we as a nation - maybe as a world - have traded personal responsibility and service to our fellow man for the myth that everyone can retire at 62 as a millionaire. Instead of sticking together as a family and as a community, we try to do everything by ourselves and expect the government to bail us out when everything comes crashing down. What happens when the government comes crashing down, too?
I am as guilty as everyone else. I have seven wonderful children, and an incredible wife. We are blessed in that I make enough for us to live on my income alone, and Mary Anne can stay home with the children. I am further blessed in that I can work out of my home when I am not traveling to a customer site. When everything goes downhill, though, I will do what ever I have to to provide for my family. I guess that makes me a hypocrite of some sort.
I am sorry for being pretty morose tonight. I am scard for the future. I thought the time for being scared like this was over. I took a chance and allowed myself to relax a little and become comfortable. And once again, it looks like the world is going to come crashing down. May God have mercy on us all.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Thoughts from a Fathers Day...
So I guess this would count as my first official blog entry. Almost a letdown....
I am actually writing this from a hotel room in MA. I had to travel out here this afternoon for business tomorrow. The drive out here was uneventful, and gave me some time to think. Those thoughts will probably end up in entries in the near future.
For today, my thoughts were on Fathers Day, and on my own dad. He died in November 1987 when I was 21 years old. It was almost a relief when he died. He had cancer, and it decimated him. That is not the way I remember him, though. The memories I have of him are of working in the shop together, or him meeting me for breakfast after I worked third shift at the truck stop. Recently, another memory came back to me of my dad, of him cuddling me close as a toddler until I fell asleep... That memory came back to me as I was cuddling my own toddler to sleep one afternoon recently.
I wish he could have met his grandchildren. I wish he was here to get advice from. I wish he was here to show me where I could be a better father to my own children. I try my best - my own bunch seems to think I am doing OK, and there are a bunch of my children's friends - teenagers, yet! - that all call me, "dad". I see all the things I do wrong, though. I go to sleep often at night wishing I had done something different, or that I had done more. I guess these are the thoughts of every father.
Mostly I wish my dad could have met his grandchildren and had them call him, "grandpapa". He would have loved that. The smile on his face would have been priceless. For all the work he did for others, he deserved that chance.... I still have a hard time with his death, sometimes. I believe that everything has a purpose, that everything serves God... but why did He have to take my daddy? I can rationalize that my brothers and I would not have grown as people the way we have if he was still alive... I still miss my daddy, though. He was a good man. For someone who never had a father of his own as an example, he did an amazing job with us. Dad, where ever you are, I miss you, I love you, and I hope you are having a great Fathers Day!
I am actually writing this from a hotel room in MA. I had to travel out here this afternoon for business tomorrow. The drive out here was uneventful, and gave me some time to think. Those thoughts will probably end up in entries in the near future.
For today, my thoughts were on Fathers Day, and on my own dad. He died in November 1987 when I was 21 years old. It was almost a relief when he died. He had cancer, and it decimated him. That is not the way I remember him, though. The memories I have of him are of working in the shop together, or him meeting me for breakfast after I worked third shift at the truck stop. Recently, another memory came back to me of my dad, of him cuddling me close as a toddler until I fell asleep... That memory came back to me as I was cuddling my own toddler to sleep one afternoon recently.
I wish he could have met his grandchildren. I wish he was here to get advice from. I wish he was here to show me where I could be a better father to my own children. I try my best - my own bunch seems to think I am doing OK, and there are a bunch of my children's friends - teenagers, yet! - that all call me, "dad". I see all the things I do wrong, though. I go to sleep often at night wishing I had done something different, or that I had done more. I guess these are the thoughts of every father.
Mostly I wish my dad could have met his grandchildren and had them call him, "grandpapa". He would have loved that. The smile on his face would have been priceless. For all the work he did for others, he deserved that chance.... I still have a hard time with his death, sometimes. I believe that everything has a purpose, that everything serves God... but why did He have to take my daddy? I can rationalize that my brothers and I would not have grown as people the way we have if he was still alive... I still miss my daddy, though. He was a good man. For someone who never had a father of his own as an example, he did an amazing job with us. Dad, where ever you are, I miss you, I love you, and I hope you are having a great Fathers Day!
In the beginning....
...there was an everyman. He had ideas, thoughts, concerns, hopes, and wanted a way to share them with the world.
Welcome, readers, to yet another blog on the web. This is an experiment for me on sharing information and ideas with the world. The format and topics covered will be pretty free wheeling - God and religion, family, hobbies, friends, work, firefighting, etc, etc, with the inevitable excursion into politics. I would rather not talk about politics, but I have no doubt that it will creep into conversations.
I am hoping that this will become a daily exercise - comments may be large or small, rambling or focused... Who knows at the point.
Once again, welcome gentle reader. Please leave your comments and ideas - all are welcome. The only real rule I can think of that I want to enforce is one of respect. I am not expecting that all readers will agree with me - in fact, I want people to disagree. All that I ask, is that it be done with respect. In that way, maybe all of us can learn something.
Welcome, readers, to yet another blog on the web. This is an experiment for me on sharing information and ideas with the world. The format and topics covered will be pretty free wheeling - God and religion, family, hobbies, friends, work, firefighting, etc, etc, with the inevitable excursion into politics. I would rather not talk about politics, but I have no doubt that it will creep into conversations.
I am hoping that this will become a daily exercise - comments may be large or small, rambling or focused... Who knows at the point.
Once again, welcome gentle reader. Please leave your comments and ideas - all are welcome. The only real rule I can think of that I want to enforce is one of respect. I am not expecting that all readers will agree with me - in fact, I want people to disagree. All that I ask, is that it be done with respect. In that way, maybe all of us can learn something.
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