What a day....

Some days are like rollercoasters - and some days are like being the bug squashed by the roller coasters windshield.

Today went fairly well to a point. I figured out how to wipe my new smartphone and re-program the email information from scratch. It is just about as close as I want it to be as I can get. So that was a small success. I also got some paperwork done, which is always good, and Mary Anne got the paperwork she needs for an "enhanced drivers license" so that we can visit Canada later on this summer. So that was good, too.

What was really good was that I attended two awards ceremonies for three of my children today! I have amazing kids, let there be no doubt.

We also had training at the fire station. It was disorganized and I ended up running things. We have a young kid going through firefighter one and two boot camp this summer - brave kid! - so we ran through some things he will need when he starts.

My wonderful wife also had a cake making class with my eldest daughter and mom tonight - holy cow, she is getting really good! My sweet Mary Anne does not give herself enough credit....

And then I got a phone call from my companies finance person in San Jose. One of our customers who was supposed to renew their service contract has not issued a PO yet, and the contract is due July 1. If they go away, I will be servicing one customer in Wisconsin. When I started this job, I was responsible for six machines for a short period of time - then it stabilized down to five. Then last year it went down to four. And then two. And now maybe one.

Who knows where it goes from here. To my favor, I am the best service engineer in the US, and one of the best in the company. I am the only one who has generated new business for the company. I am well like by my customers, and I have a reputation as a troubleshooter. So you would think my job is safe.

If there is one thing the years have taught me, it is that no one is safe.

This entry today was supposed to be thoughts on how we as a country have gotten to where we are... maybe in a way, it still is. How did we get this way? How did things get so out of control, the house of cards get so high that it took everyone down when it came crashing down? The media and the government would have us believe that it was a few people in the finance industry that took risks and caused this all to happen...

The truth is, we are all to blame.

The answer to all these problems is greed. It ranges from the person who finances that vacation or even entertainment center that they can't afford to the executive that places a billion dollar bet on how the economy will blow. Some how, we as a nation - maybe as a world - have traded personal responsibility and service to our fellow man for the myth that everyone can retire at 62 as a millionaire. Instead of sticking together as a family and as a community, we try to do everything by ourselves and expect the government to bail us out when everything comes crashing down. What happens when the government comes crashing down, too?

I am as guilty as everyone else. I have seven wonderful children, and an incredible wife. We are blessed in that I make enough for us to live on my income alone, and Mary Anne can stay home with the children. I am further blessed in that I can work out of my home when I am not traveling to a customer site. When everything goes downhill, though, I will do what ever I have to to provide for my family. I guess that makes me a hypocrite of some sort.

I am sorry for being pretty morose tonight. I am scard for the future. I thought the time for being scared like this was over. I took a chance and allowed myself to relax a little and become comfortable. And once again, it looks like the world is going to come crashing down. May God have mercy on us all.