Another Day...

Still no word on if my customer is going to renew thier service contract. Even if they do, I am beginning to wonder just how "secure" my job is.

I went to my mom's house today to pick some air conditioners and food from her freezer. I had to park some items there because our freezer needed to be defrosted. The air conditioners were just being stored there for the winter. We have two sick children here today - one or both of them may have the flu. If that is the case, it is pretty mild, I think.

While drive out to my mom's house, I was listening to the local Christian radio station. The preacher was talking about accepting God's call in our lives, and the life of Abraham. He was talking about how sometimes God calls us to move away from all that we know and are comfortable with to serve Him....

It is a scary thought. Some people enjoy making new starts in their lives in new places with new sites and sounds and people... I am not one of those people. I have been described as not handling change well. There might be some truth to that. I think it is more of a case that I need to have a foundation to work from, and my foundation is my family and home and community. As long as these things are intact, I can handle the world....

I feel more out of control of my life than ever. I pray daily to place my life in God's hands and ask Him to guide me in what I do and where I go... but how much of that is really true? I am a weak person. The thought of having to move out of my home and community terrifies me. What if we moved into a place where the church was not tight like it is here? What if we moved to an area where there was no volunteer fire department? I am not strong, I don't know if I could do it.

I pray and pray for help in surrendering to God's will. Sometimes, I feel like I can do it. Most of the time, I don't.

My thoughts are not very focused tonight. I am going to close this early.